A Singer’s Lament

November 10, 2013

 A Singer’s Lament

I thought I’d be more pleasing
to my God if I refrained
from singing songs more secular
that’s how I have explained

my choice to never sing again
except about His Name
my ego never settled
and I’ve never been the same

I envy all the others
who are “old” but singing still
If I had kept on singing
would I not be “in His will?”

To sing of love and friendship
of rainbows and the rain
how could that be so sinful
when I quit what did I gain

“Brownie points in heaven”
I doubt I do have any
regrets that I don’t sing at all
oh, yes, I do have many

The songs I sang were happy
and some were soulful…sad
and singing was a medicine
whenever I felt bad

Now it’s too late…I had my chance
I gave it up…by choice
oh what a foolish thing I did
to throw away my voice

“Send in the Clowns” to cheer me
for “Here’s That Rainy Day”
The sun won’t come out “Tomorrow”
Nothing is coming “My Way”

“It’s my (pity)party”
If I want to I can cry
but I’d rather sing my songs again
and I’m asking God just why

I thought I’d be more “HOLY”
If I didn’t sing anymore
Though I put away His Gift to me
I’m a sinner…just like before

It didn’t make a difference
and I doubt it mattered at all
No “ministry” ever followed
there never has been a “CALL”

I miss being out performing
hearing laughter and seeing smiles
I might have been a blessing
and traveled many miles

If I’d kept singing and acting
and sharing a heart full of cheer
Oh, how I long for what’s lost now
But it’s lost forever…I fear

(Twenty years ago I was a Christian Radio host/interviewer…when I gave up my secular singing and acting career…thinking it was inappropriate to continue singing anything but inspirational/gospel music. I have since realized how I imposed on myself something God did require of me. This “Lament” is about the loss of the joy of singing and making people laugh)